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| Illustration by Ellsworth Young. |
All at once he woke up, and thought, "What if the sun got tired of running across the sky! What then would become of me?"
At that moment, he heard the sun complaining to the stars about how tired he was running across the sky, and how it was time for him to stop running; for he was old and tired. Hearing the sun, the Rabbit said to himself, "The sun has stopped, we will all bake in place!" And he jumped up and ran just as fast as he could.
Another Rabbit saw him running, and called after him, "What are you running so fast for?"
"The sun has stopped running across the sky!" he cried.
The other Rabbit ran after him, noticing the unusually long and unusually hot day.
Then the first Rabbit said, "Don't you know? We will all bake!" And on he ran, and the second Rabbit ran with him.
The next Rabbit they met ran with them when he heard that the sun had stopped. One Rabbit after another joined them, until there were hundreds of Rabbits running as fast as they could go. They passed a Deer, calling out to him that the sun had stopped. The Deer then ran with them. The Deer called to a Fox to come along because the sun had stopped. On and on they ran, and an Elephant joined them.
In unison, every animal started running with the rabbit, but once they got to the dark side of the earth, they were really cold, so they kept running, along with the animals from the dark side. Every single living thing, on the bright and dark side of the earth, ran with the rabbit. They ran across the earth, from hot, to cold, to hot again.
They ran so fast that they could run over the water. They ran with such force that they carried the wind with them. They were so many, and their run was so mighty, that the earth itself started moving beneath their feet. It got to the point where the Lion noticed that they were no longer moving as they ran. The Lion roared three times, this stopped the animals, for they knew the voice of the King of Beast, and they feared him.
They all noticed that the earth was moving by itself and they did not have to run anymore. The animals and the sun were very relieved. The Lion wanted to thank the Rabbit for it had shown them that by working together, they had the power to move the world. But the rabbit just kept running, for he did not know if the earth was going to stop. Some even say that he has made it to the moon.
Author Notes:
I had lots of fun writing this story. I wanted to change the message from the original story, The Foolish, Timid Rabbit. In the original story, the rabbit is just inducing mass panic by making other animals run; but in my story, I wanted the Rabbit to be the hero.
Hey, Kevin!
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your story and thought it was really adorable! I like that you made the rabbit into a hero while making the story humorous what with the rabbit (possibly) running all the way to the moon. The only thing I can think to say as far as feedback goes is the last reference to the rabbit should probably be capitalized to go with the rest of the story (last paragraph, third line). You have all other "Rabbit"s capitalized except that last one!
Great job on this story--I think it is awesome!
Hi Kevin!
ReplyDeleteI am really impressed with the way you gave the animals so much character despite it being a short story. I have a vivid image in my head of a frenzied rabbit realizing that the sun has stopped and bouncing around to try and solve the problem.
One thing that had me a little confused is how the earth started moving? Using modern physics, it makes sense that the animals running would make the earth spin on its axis, but it seemed like they were just running on the surface to escape the sun and the piece about the earth moving by itself felt like it came out of nowhere.
I would love to hear more about the animal politics, since they have a clear leader. I'm not sure if it would fit in a short story, but I'm intrigued by the power structure there and the characterization of the Lion as the king of animals.
Thank you for sharing this story!
Hello, Kevin!
ReplyDeleteI would like to start off by saying that you wrote a really creative story! Although, I do have some questions. I wonder how the sun is talking to the stars. Usually when the sun is out, you cannot see the stars. I am curious to know if the sun is just complaining to the stars even if it cannot see them or if the sun and stars are out and about at the same time in this story. I am also to know why the rabbit began running in the first place. What did he hope to accomplish by running incredibly fast? I am also unsure why the other animals had to wait until the Rabbit pointed out that the sun stopped moving in order to begin running.
What if you try giving the reader a bit more of background at the beginning of the story? In all honesty, I thought that the Rabbit waking up and then immediately thinking about the sun was a bit random and unexpected. It just feels a little too abrupt.
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ReplyDeleteHey Kevin,
ReplyDeleteGreat story. I really enjoyed your take, making the rabbit not such a classically whimsical character. I thought that the creation story behind why the rabbit needed to run and have the other animals follow was pretty clever. I notice that there are a lot of details that seem to be significant but lead me to wonder what the story is really about. I wonder if the text could be a little more dedicated to telling the story itself. For instance, I was a little confused about the different setting the animals seemed to go through. It may be more clear (and further emphasize your goal of the hero rabbit) if the transition from problem to solution is clear cut. At one point I was thinking that the story was going to be about the creation of wind, and found myself distracted by thinking "what happens when these animals stop running?" Seems minor, and it is, but I would just refocus the text to always prioritize the main theme. Even still, awesome writing!
Hi Kevin! I am so happy that you chose to write about this story. It was one of my favorites out of this whole semester. I also wrote about it! I think I really just love any story where all the characters are animal, especially ones with morals. I really enjoyed your take on this story because I think you did a great job of just deviating enough from the original to make it fun and new while still keeping the original story line that I loved so much when I first read it. I enjoyed that this time the rabbit was more the hero of the story. Great job! I hope to read more of your stories in the future!
ReplyDeleteIt's nice to see the Rabbit be in the role of a hero. Mass panic seems just so easy, but when the rabbit seems to be putting in effort to get the animals to run it seems way more significant. It's fun to imagine that many animals all running in one direction so much that it moves the earth. I like how you made the sun seem lazy in this story, I mean, he does deserve a rest doesn't he...haha
ReplyDelete